It was about five in the morning when she woke up. It was one of those confused awakenings, when you don’t really know where you are at first. Her head was pounding. There was a faint smell of cigarettes in the air. She looked over and saw him lying there, and remembered exactly where she was and how she had got there. “Why do I keep doing this to myself”, she thought to herself. She remained silent, stuck in her own mind. Memories were bouncing around in her head like flies swarming around a light post. Her breathing began to get heavy and she felt her anxiety kicking in. She began thinking of ways to leave without waking him up. When she finally got the nerve to try and leave, she got up slowly and started looking around for her things. She took out the same things every night, she called it her survival kit. She never left the house without her makeup bag, which held everything but makeup, her extra clothes, and her favorite marker. Krink, at that. She tossed everything into her bag and made her way for the door when she heard his blankets rustle. “Why are you leaving so early?”, he asked shyly. “I’ve been with you all night. I need to shower and go home. I need food.” she responded. He gave her that look she hated and remained quiet. He wasn’t the type to beg her to stay with him. She knew he wanted her to stay, but what for? He had love for her, but he did not love her enough to keep her. She left through the back door and began her walk home. The sun seemed to be shinning directly at her as she squinted her eyes looking up at the sky. She felt her body warming up. She enjoyed that feeling, that mere moment where everything felt alright. Her head wasn’t pounding, she didn’t feel as hungry. The cuts on her hands seemed to be going away, and this made her happy. Once the cuts healed, his head wouldn’t pop into her head every time she looked down at her hands. The moment of euphoria was brutally diminished when she looked to the side of her and saw her name written in graffiti, right next to his. It was the little things that hurt her soul. Memories that never seemed to disappear – now that’s what kept her coming back.
They had a complicated relationship, if you can call it a relationship. Luz put up with him at his worst, and he stuck around when she was at her best. They both wanted two different things from each other, but were too stubborn to give in to one another. She wanted it all with him, and she did whatever she could to make that happen. She was his heart; everywhere he was, she was. She answered every time he’d call, she’d rush out of the house to go meet him up when he wanted to see her. She did the craziest things when she was with him, and each time she asked herself “why am I doing this?” He was no good for her. Gabriel put her through some very risky situations, and though she did complain at times, he knew she’d stay because not knowing if he was okay or not was too much for her. He was what you’d call a hood rat, he stayed out all day hoping from train to train. She always believed he was looking for somewhere to call his own. See, he brought her to the most amazing places, places she would have never discovered on her own. He took her to the deepest parts of the city, and showed her what it was like to be carefree. She never understood how someone so young can have such an old soul. It was like he had seen everything there was to see in life, before the age of 16. Before she met him, she was probably the most stressed out 15 year old girl you’ve ever met. They both had issues and home problems, the difference was she let them break her down while he shook it off and pretended not to care. They evened each other out, that’s why no matter how many times they fought, they could never stay mad. Especially since they both had this undying love and appreciation for graffiti art. That’s probably what kept them together, since that was the reason they met.
The first time she had ever laid eyes on him was far from romantic. But she wasn’t into all that stuff anyways, she always thought it was over rated. Everyone wanted someone to sweep them off their feet. Everyone wanted someone to offer them the world; she had a world of her own however, and until she met him no one was allowed in it. She was smoking in the back of the train station, and so was he. She noticed him instantly because he kept spraying tags on to the wall next to her. He eventually came over by her and introduced himself. Before they knew it, they were on their way downtown to smoke some more together. She was about to go that way for work and well he just enjoyed train rides. They made their way down to the Chicago River Walk, and that’s when it all began.